Mashed Potato Ingredients
1 medium potato per person (I use both Yukon Gold and/or Russet - whatever I have on hand)
Milk
Butter - I use a bit less if the potatoes are Yukon Gold. Often it’s from 1 tablespoon to 4 if I’m serving a few folks
Salt
Pepper
Steps to Make Mashed Potatoes
Peel potatoes and cut into wedges
It’s normally 4-6 wedges per potato but as long as they are all around the same size so they cook together that is all that matters.
Boil potatoes until they are soft.
Once the potatoes are done, put some butter in a bowl.
Once the potatoes are ready, I grab a slotted spoon and put some into the potato ricer. Before opening the ricer to add more potatoes, open it over the potatoes waiting for you in the water so you don’t get lumps because some potato bits will sneak into the perfectly smooth potatoes otherwise.
This step will feel like playing with Play-Doh in your childhood or what you think it would be like if your parent let you have Play-Doh in the house (Nancy Baker only allowed homemade Play-Doh which was immediately made into something and baked)
I grew up making mashed potatoes with an electric mixer which also works fine, but I transitioned to the potato ricer because then they are perfect every single time. Potato mashers are also fine but I don’t like lumps in the mashed potatoes I make.
I salt and pepper and add a bit of milk. Mix, taste, and add more until the flavor and texture is what you want. Add a little bit more milk than you think you will need to keep the potatoes from getting stiff as they cool.
Gravy Ingredients
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup flour (or corn starch if you want it gluten free)
2 cups broth, milk, or a combo of the two
Salt
Pepper
Steps to Make Gravy
You may think the gravy in this picture looks purple and you would be…correct. That’s what happens when you throw in red cabbage while making vegetable broth. It felt a bit like a cartoon but I’m going with it. The gravy tasted delicious so it worked out just fine.
In a frying pan or skillet on medium heat, melt the butter and whisk in the flour.
Slowly whisk in broth or milk until fully incorporated. I add slowly to try and get all lumps out with the whisk as it’s added.
When gravy is bubbling away nicely, turn down the heat to medium low.
Cook until gravy is thickened and if it’s not thickening enough mix some flour and milk in a small glass to make a slurry and add to the gravy. Turn the heat back up until it’s bubbling away, then turn down again.
I don’t know if it’s a thing, but I think I activate the thickening at the higher temperature, and then lowering the temperature allows it to actually thicken (OMG the INTERNET sort of agrees with me: The higher temperature activates the thickening agent, the lower temperature keeps it from burning).
If the gravy is lumpy, pour through a small strainer.
Beth and I began our friendship plotting the death of a fellow classmate that annoyed us (middle schoolers are the worst!) and I’m pretty sure if I truly needed help to bury the body she would be one of the first people I’d call. Who would have thought 36 (?!?!) years ago that we would still so enjoy each other’s company and basically be the same person with similar interests even though we live in different states now.
I spent December finding all the pictures I have of Beth and scanning in the ones that existed before digital photos. This is to say, buckle up this post is going to be loooong. I still only posted maybe 1/3 of the photos I found and scanned.
There are some of us that remember a time where you took photos and had no idea if they turned out until you sent the film in and got it back. Typically this meant that a lot of the photos sucked and if you were lucky one or two would be ok. Except for pictures that Beth is in. She takes the best photos! Every time I think about this magical power of hers I’m reminded of this photo of her holding a Dr Pepper. This is a far more effective commercial than this Dr Pepper commercial at the time. Even when she’s had too much to drink and is sleeping on the floor this lady is photogenic.
In comparison, digital photography has been mostly good for me. Keep in mind I kept the pictures below so these were the best of the bunch. Most of the time I end up looking like I’m high or have my eyes shut. Though I think the lower right is a digital photograph. I should mention it’s up to the person taking the photo to make sure the photo is good. I’m happy that a photo was taken. I rarely look at them until later.
When Beth and I met it didn’t take us all that long to realize we were kindred souls. Plotting a murder, then realizing our mothers were born on the same day and were the same age, and THEN I admired her outfit and she told me she had sewn it herself. I loved sewing but I hadn’t been doing it as often because it was NOT COOL and I wanted so badly to make friends in junior high. Except the other kids thought I was weird and talked too much (which I do ESPECIALLY when I’m nervous). I was on the edges of a friend group trying very hard to keep my head down and not die when Beth came to my school in 9th grade. Then I realized that once you find that one person whose idea of a good time aligns with yours, you care so much less what anyone else thinks about you.
I was a big reader when I met Beth, but it was mostly romance and mystery and then Beth recommended “Emma” and I quickly became enamored with Jane Austin and Charlotte Bronte and Shakespeare. I was amazed that old timey books could be so good! We often shared books including after she moved away shipping a box of books to each other every few months. It was one of my favorite packages to receive. I still love her recommendations even if I don’t always agree with her opinion. I did not care for “The Life of Pi” and it’s one of her favorites. I love Henry James books and she hated them so much she retaliated by sending me Gulliver’s Travels. When I asked her why she liked that book she responded with “I didn’t! That’s for sending me Henry James!” I had no idea “revenge books” were a thing. I have a soft spot in my heart for Gulliver’s Travels because I can just hear Beth thinking: “That’s for Henry James beyotch!”
Beth is an amazing singer. I’m so glad I’ve gotten to hear her sing for the last 36 years (but I’d love to hear it more Bethy Fred!). Her voice is my very favorite. If you have heard her sing you will agree with me. She is also a very talented voice teacher. A lot of her students got scholarships for college. Sadly, she doesn’t teach anymore. Being a teacher is really hard work with crummy pay. Being a voice teacher who is an independent contractor in one of the wealthiest school districts and having parents not pay their bills made it impossible. One of the reasons I don’t teach sewing full time or depend on it for a living is that it would absolutely ruin it for me. I’m going to do it in my own time, for donations that help me provide sewing camp for kids so even when I’m tired at the end of the day, I LOVE seeing the creations and sense of confidence it instills. The number of times people complained when I sewed for them in college charging $3 an hour that it was too much did ruin it for me for awhile. If only we were better as a nation to appreciate arts and education. Perhaps we’d all be happier.
She was only a few hours away for college so we did visit each other or I would drive to Aberdeen from Fargo and we would follow each other on the drive back to Rapid City for break. I spent my last semester doing a study abroad program but thankfully didn’t leave until after her senior recital in college. Her parents gave me a ride to the recital and then Beth gave me a ride to Fargo to catch my flight. I still laugh about her mom telling me that “we are only going for a weekend. Why are you bringing so much?”
When we finished college, we both moved to Minneapolis. Her to get her masters in music, me to work at MPR. We shared an apartment with Meghan who was there getting her law degree. The three of us spent our time eating at Green Mill and Kinhdo (which we could smell from our apartment), partying with John, Stacie, Wendy, and others, freaking out about assignments or work, and dodging the bats that surprised us when we were watching a movie. Meghan swears I said “everyone save yourself!” when we realized there was a bat in the apartment. What I actually said was “I’ll go get the manager!” The manager wasn’t in and I came back upstairs to find Beth trapped with the bat in the front stairway. I’d like to think I helped her get back into the apartment while making sure the bat didn’t get back in, but honestly I can’t remember. I do remember being thankful I’d moved upstairs to my own apartment and would not have to sleep with the threat of bats.
When we moved out of Uptown and to St Louis Park, Beth and I needed help moving my heavy sleeper sofa down from the third floor, we talked Kristin and John into helping us and it was quite the process. My favorite memories from that apartment were the songs we made up while packing and unpacking the van. We did learn that we should not be roommates without a buffer person. We drove each other nuts and for the first time in a long time didn’t resolve issues right when we had them because we had to live with each other (or perhaps that was only my issue). Six years after we lived together we had a fight about getting that apartment. Lots of stuff that was stored up and needed to be sorted through and worked out.
Relatively early on in our friendship I was mad at her and tried to ghost her and she wouldn’t let me. She told me we were friends and we were going to work it out and for the most part after that we have. We can cry and yell and be 100% ourselves and then resolve it and have our friendship be stronger than ever. I am so thankful Beth taught me this when we were young. It has been one of the greatest gifts that has helped me build really strong friendships.
When Beth was looking at PhD programs across the US she asked me to be her road trip partner and we had the best time. Beth’s history with road trips is with her parents. They love each other deeply until they get in a car and go on a road trip together. Johanna struggles to read maps and Garry is a nervous driver in big cities and with road construction and they get frustrated with each other. When we were in high school they took us to Denver to go school shopping and I was the only one her mom was still talking to when we got home so Beth was a bit nervous when plotting this road trip.
Luckily I am SO FUN on road trips (and obviously very humble). Highlights were a seriously strong shower that blasted all the shampoo out of my hair and dead skin off my body (I wish all showers were like this), a $2 parking ticket in Lawrence, KS for forgetting to put a dime in the meter, jokes about meeting the dumb friends (for Dumb Friends League) in Denver, stopping in Happy, TX to get a picture because of the movie (I remember the movie being hilarious but I’m not sure it’s held up. I have been disappointed by so many movies I thought were hilarious when it came out only to be SO DISAPPOINTED to realize they were sexist, racist, homophobic, etc., now), hanging out with Beth’s sister, Laura in TX, driving like a maniac to keep up with Travis’ girlfriend in New Orleans to see his band perform (I think she was a bit jealous of the ex girlfriend) and singing “In the ghetto…” at the same time when passing a burnt out Burger King a mile or two from Graceland. Also keeping track of churches and porn in the south. Often right across the highway from one another. I’m a little surprised they didn’t market it more to their advantage: “Sin now, repent after!” and “Did you see Jesus in those thighs or do you need Jesus now?”
Beth chose Colorado and while it’s hard to have her farther away, at least it’s a quick, inexpensive flight. When she moved there she connected with Kris, who is John’s best friend from Rapid City. He’s kind, funny, curious, creative, and interesting. I love this for her so much. A lot of the guys Beth dated in the past saw her surface beauty and often didn’t look much farther. Even if they were nerdy themselves, they often wanted to show off their beautiful girlfriend. Those dummies really missed out. Her kindness, intelligence, and twisted sense of the humor are the best.
Beth’s friends in Colorado are a delight. Cameron is missing from this photo of us in Italy because she had just had a baby, but I am so glad we took this trip to Italy together because I got to know Hadley and Elissa so much better and realized we all traveled well together. This picture also reminds me to enjoy the moments we have now. Hadley died in 2018 but I can still hear her laugh when seeing and then later talking about how I stepped in human poop on that trip. She could not make it through that story without laughing hysterically every. single. time. We all miss her. Every time I have a truly great glass of wine, I give her credit for influencing me to order it.
One of the other great benefits of being Beth’s friend is her family. Her parents have always been supportive of Beth’s education and musical interests and have helped move her (and me when my dad flaked the night before I was supposed to move to Minneapolis). Her sister Julie introduced me to Etta James, makes really cool art, and rhubarb liquor. Laura is hilarious and I loved learning all about the languages she invented (one of which was outlawed on a road trip so she invented another one). I love listening to them all reminisce. A couple of summers ago I was excited to celebrate Garry and Johanna’s 60th wedding anniversary. We realized I have officially been to more family gatherings than Beth’s sister Andrea, so we all started referring to me as “Upgrade Andrea” which everyone at the gathering (including their pastor) found hilarious and true. I have never understood Andrea’s reticence to stay in touch with her family. She has missed out on so much.
Thankfully I’m no dummy.
We have been sewing together, hiking together, road tripping together, and cooking together for 36 years. Well, we didn’t really start cooking together until we both went to college and then when we would visit each other and had access to a kitchen, for some reason we made mashed potatoes. It made us feel grown up and the mashed potatoes served in the cafeteria were not good. When I make them, I start with a couple tablespoons butter in this kick ass bowl Beth bought me as a set my first year of college:
Then I take potatoes out of the water with a slotted spoon and put them into the potato ricer. It’s really difficult to record the ricing of potatoes one handed.
Once all the ricing is done, add salt and pepper to taste and add milk until they are light and fluffy. I have a great vegan mashed potato recipe too, but I’ll write about that later. I always make more mashed potatoes than I need. Especially if I roast a chicken because I love a hot chicken sandwich with mashed potatoes covered in gravy the next day.
While the potatoes are still boiling, start the gravy. You want to make sure it has enough time to cook and thicken. It tastes even better when you are using your great grandma’s iron skillet. My mom had used a whisk that sat upright in the gravy and while I have one of those, I prefer this flat whisk. Easier to clean. Years ago when I spent Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle, Carolyn told me you could never have too much gravy and she was right. Make a lot of gravy. You won’t be sad. Beth wins the award for making way more food than you will eat for a gathering, but most of the time you aren’t sad there are leftovers.
Choosing which recipe to write about was really hard for me because we have made so much together over the years. Of the recipes I’ve published so far, some of the favorites I’ve cooked and baked with Beth are:
Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake where I warned everyone that it was too rich to eat more than a thin slice and Beth responded with “we’ll see.”
She tolerated some of my early efforts at hashbrown making. One particularly sad one where I used vegetable oil. Not delicious.
Crazy cake is another favorite of hers (and honestly most folks favorite)
And I’ve definitely made a garlic tart for her because I’m obsessed with it.
There is also a hilarious story about canning peaches where I learned that Beth hates canning, but didn’t want to ruin my excitement. In the end she made the simple syrup and I peeled and cut up the peaches because I didn’t care if they were perfect. I only cared that they were delicious.
I love this lady so much. I hope for so many more years of her looking amazing in photos and me looking awkward.
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